Last month I met a couple who had an interesting quirk in that they didn’t have designated sides of the bed. Whoever went to sleep first, took whichever side and the partner who followed would take the other side. If they went to sleep at the same time, it was just kind of decided on the spot. I asked the couple if they had a side they preferred and they didn’t really seem to. I asked if they always took the same side upon getting in bed first (like he who gets the window side first wins). They didn’t.
I found this so interesting because we are such creatures of habit and I (for one) like to have something be mine. Matt and I even have designated spots where we sit in the living room. I’m always on the couch, and him on the leather chair (now, part of our situation is the layout of our living room. You cannot adequately see the TV from one side of the couch, making it really a spot for just one). But the main thing here is that the idea of not having my side of the bed seemed so odd to me.
I am not quite sure why I find it so hard to comprehend, but I just do. What’s mine is mine and what’s his is his, right?
Which got me thinking about marriage in general. We share everything else, so why not our sides of the bed. Is it really just habit? Or is it a need to have some ownership in an otherwise all-sharing situation? I thought maybe it was just preference. Maybe I just liked sleeping on the right side, but that isn’t true when I travel, so it’s not preference. Am I really just that possessive?
What do you guys think? Do you have things that are specifically designated? Or do you, like the above mentioned couple, see no division?
I’m curious to know, so leave a comment below!
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We have definite sides of the bed. Once on vacation, we tried to switch for the week, it just resulted in no sleep. Plus I love having my book, candle and chapstick right next to me, it’d be a pain to move those every night!
this is so funny… at home we definitely have specific sides of the bed. but it’s so true, when we travel it’s not like my side is always the left side… my side is always the one closest to the bathroom
i think at home it makes sense because we each have bedside tables with our phone chargers, books, magazines, etc… and that would be so annoying to change all the time!
This is interesting, I could care less which side of the bed I sleep on, but my hubby is very protective of his side! We have switched sides when we moved from one apartment/house to another, but otherwise we stick to the side our alarm clock is on.
Molly –
My husband is pretty protective too! One time he accused me of making his side of the sheets ‘pilly’ and said that I must have been sleeping on his side while he was gone and giving that side more wear. It’s totally crazy, of course
What an interesting topic! I do like to have my own side too, but I think it’s because I always sleep on one side. And I’m a cuddler so there’s really only one I side I can be on.
We are creatures of habit indeed. I like to sleep on the side of the bed that’s closest to the door.
Me too. I like to sleep on the door side.
That’s interesting! One of my theories is that men tend to sleep closest to the door out of some innate need to protect. When we travel, Matt always takes the door side of the bed. My theory is totally bunk!
That is so funny to me! We have definite sides of the bed too, mainly designated but our respective phone chargers and the big stack of pillows I sleep on (While he only has one). Unlike Tidy-Up Gal up there, I like to be on the side furthest from the door!!
Over the years our sides have changed for different reasons. I just realized that as we are on vacation we are sleeping on different sides than when we are at home! But at home I like knowing it is mine and only mine!
We switch it up like the couple you mentioned. Our bedroom is on the small side and it works best with our bed in the corner so sometimes the sleeping arrangement is based on who has to get up first and they sleep on the outside with the nightstand and alarm. Other times I just feel like the relative newness of the other side helps me sleep better! Great Random Thought Erin! It’s fun to hear what other people say about it!
Ooh yeah – up against a wall makes a difference!
This is kind of an evil admission but I go to bed about an hour earlier than my boyfriend most nights and I purposely fall asleep on his side. That way when he comes in I can roll over on to my side and get the “cold pillow” all over again.
Liz, That’s hilarious! We won’t tell!
Oh, I ALWAYS sleep on the left side, at home with my husband, or when I have to share a bed in a hotel (whether it’s my hubby or say, w/ my sister on a family girls’ trip, or a girlfriend when I went sans-husband to an out-of-state wedding).
My reasoning is because I breathe best laying on my left side (weird sinus issues!), plus I don’t like facing the other person because I can’t handle breath on my face while trying to sleep.
I do sometimes sleep on the other side of the bed if I’m by myself (i.e., husband on business trip), so it’s definitely my quirks described above and not really a habit thing.
We definitely have sides….although I am really not sure why. We have one night stand currently and its on “my” side. I think I just prefer the one side because of that, I’m really the only one that uses it. The thought above almost freaks me out, I never even considered switching it up. I guess I am a creature of habit!
I’ve always slept on the side that was easiest to get to the kids. So it’s changed from place to place.
For me is really hard to comprehend too. Here at home we have sides. Apart from liking to have my own side with my own pillow, there are things I just HAVE to have on my nightstand and can’t imagine waking up in the middle of the night ad not having them within reach!
We definitely have sides. We’ve switched from time to time over the years, but it’s nice to have that consistency. My books are on my side
in the living room we each have our own sides of the couch and respective coffee table with the cat space in-between us. and the bed it is the same way. he’s on the right i’m on the left and we each have our “stuff” on our bed sides. i tend to like to sleep the farthest from the window (because of the sun not paranoid about people
What an interesting subject! We have switched it up from house to house but once a side is picked it stays. I always have the side closest to the door (so when the kids come in the middle of the night they come to me) and my husband likes to be cold so he is always closest to the window and have it open with a fan!
For the first year and a half of marriage we had designated sides (probably instigated by me). We now sleep on whatever side we choose at bedtime. My stuff on the nightstand might be far away some nights, but he and I do not read or do anything like that while in bed, so we have no need for our things. I think we will end up bouncing between designated and un-designated sides for the rest of our marriage. We both like to change things up in our everyday to make it awesome, even if it is only which side of the bed we sleep on
This is fascinating! I always sleep on the left side of the bed – so it doesn’t matter if it’s closest to the door or not, the left side. But I sleep on that side even when I’m by myself, so I think it really is just habit. I get all twitchy just thinking about switching sides!
Designated sides of the bed! I wonder if that couple use each other’s pillows. I wouldn’t use my boyfriend’s – his pillow stinks!
It’s funny you bring this up! My boyfriend and I do not have designated sides – this is mostly because of my boyfriend! He usually goes to bed before me and he randomly chooses which side he wants for the night. It makes me laugh that he is always changing, and he has no real explanation. His work schedule is 24 hours on, then 24 hours off, so he is only home every other night.
According to my boyfriend, both sides of the bed are mine…and the sheets…and his pillows.